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Long ago I made the decision that, if I was ever to get married, I was never going to be that woman – the woman who only found motivation to lose weight due to her impending nuptials.
Upon attending 20 plus weddings and reading countless stories about brides to be, it would frustrate me to tears that these wonderful, lucky women who had found their perfect match, somehow found it necessary to lose weight for their special day.
Why couldn’t they possibly find that same level of motivation earlier? A year before? Five years before? Why lose weight just before your wedding and suffer the unnecessary, self-induced stress of your dress not fitting the week before? Or risk that first glass of champagne going straight to your head because you haven’t eaten all year?
I told myself I’d never be the woman who was going to lose weight before her wedding day. My husband was going to take me as I am. If he didn’t like it, he could leave!
But here I am, five months out from my wedding day and I’ve found myself counting calories, wearing a Fitbit, sworn off the grog and – wait for it – jogging instead of walking.
So, to make myself feel righteous and keep my feminist friends happy, I’ve carefully crafted three other reasons to lose weight before your wedding day:
1. To enjoy a happy honeymoon.
Picture this. You’ve driven off to your hotel in a limo (or stumbled home in a taxi as the case may be) and enjoyed the perfect first night together as husband and wife. There was champagne, there were rose petals, there was chocolate. The whole shebang.
The next day you hop on the plane to Thailand. Your husband proudly tells the beautiful, slender flight attendant who greets you that you’re his new wife. You flash her a big smile and she congratulates you. You promptly take your seats, but there’s one problem. You can’t do your seat belt up! Your bum is too big. There is nowhere to hide, so instead you sob quietly into your inflight magazine.
Your husband, who for some inexplicable reason cares for your safety, gets up to have a private chat to the pretty stewardess, explaining the extraordinary situation. You are mortified. Your honeymoon is ruined before it has even begun. The only thought going through your head is ‘If only I had jogged instead of walked!’
2. To be a healthy baby-making machine.
OK, so you’ve already been with your fella for five years, but your love is now officially eternal. That’s right girlfriend, your wedding day is the first day of the rest of your life and, for some, that includes having babies.
To successfully conceive and enjoy a healthy pregnancy they say it’s important that you – and your husband – are in exceptional health. The great thing about using the baby excuse is the GP drags your partner along kicking and screaming into a healthy lifestyle as well.
That suddenly makes weight loss and being the most beautiful bride you can be a joint activity. I mean, it’s for the sake of the baby, right? You each buy Fitbits and live happily forever after.
3. To impress your photographer.
That’s right. Not your groom, your photographer. They’re the ones in control of how you’re going to look for those prints on glass – those beautiful wedding day moments captured in time and positioned pride of place on the wall of your home forever.
It’s not about being so skinny that your cousin Stephanie, who is always going on about her gluten-free-yoga-cross-fit lifestyle, thinks you look amazing on the day. It’s not even about your groom finding the strength to pick you up and spin you around. It’s about you wanting to be the best you can be so you can look at those memories forever and think, wow, what an amazing day; wasn’t I just beautiful?
Why be beautiful for a day when you can be beautiful forever? Just watch that first glass of champagne.
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