{"id":1239,"date":"2015-03-21T16:37:50","date_gmt":"2015-03-21T05:37:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/?p=1239"},"modified":"2017-10-20T13:10:07","modified_gmt":"2017-10-20T02:10:07","slug":"online-dating-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/online-dating-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"Practical Romance: 11 Online Dating Tips (What Not To Do)"},"content":{"rendered":"

After my first long-term relationship broke up, I was single for 10 years. Given how beautiful, intelligent and witty I am \u2013 not to mention modest \u2013 my friends and family were often perplexed by my inability to find someone special.<\/p>\n

What made me<\/em> perplexed was the complete lack of intervention, not to mention zero online dating tips. Not once did a friend or family member try to set me up on a date. I even went to a dinner party one night and, in true Bridget Jones style, was the only single person there. There were five Smug Married Couples and me.<\/p>\n

No effort was made whatsoever to a) invite a single eligible bachelor or b) invite a single woman to make me feel less crap about being the only one there alone.<\/p>\n

“The only thing worse than smug married couples, lots of smug married couples.” \u2013 Bridget Jones.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

After spending years joining all sorts of groups – bushwalking,\u00a0basketball, sailing, triathlon – online dating was my only option.<\/p>\n

\"Practical<\/p>\n

While I didn’t eventually meet the man of my dreams online, I certainly gave it a red hot go \u2013 going on at least 50 online dates and chatting online to hundreds of men. I learned a few things about the human condition I would otherwise never have discovered. I don\u2019t regret a thing.<\/p>\n

And while I’m the first to confess that I didn’t do the right thing 100% of the time, I sure learnt a lot. I think it\u2019s important none of this valuable experience goes to waste, so here is some practical online dating etiquette suitable for beginners and more seasoned daters. My advice is to men, but I’m sure some of it applies to women as well.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d love to hear more tips from you that can be shared with others. I\u2019d also love to hear some tips from men for women as well. That\u2019s a whole new practical romance piece right there!<\/p>\n

When Online Dating Don\u2019t …<\/h2>\n

1. When you message her don\u2019t say \u201cI like chubby girls.\u201d<\/strong> Chubby? That\u2019s seriously the best adjective you could think of? Mind you, if you say \u2018bigger\u2019 or \u2018fuller figured\u2019 or \u2018voluptuous\u2019 you\u2019re also going to lose. I mean, fetish much? Do you seriously only like plus size girls? What happens if she loses weight? Will you stop liking her then? If you\u2019re trying to make her feel better, you\u2019re not. You’ve simply noticed her curves rather than caring about what\u2019s inside \u2013 which ultimately matters more than her curves or lack of curves, surely? If you like the look of her, say \u2018I think you\u2019re beautiful\u2019 then ask her a question about her hobbies or her brain or her spirit. Also, skinny girls are awesome too. Branch out.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0On your online profile, don\u2019t put a photo of yourself from 10-15 years ago. <\/strong>If you have grey hair and wrinkles, she wants see them\u00a0from word go \u2013 she\u2019s going to eventually\u00a0(very soon, if you play your cards right). Once she gets to know you, of course she\u2019ll want to learn more about you and look at all your old photo albums, but she\u2019s not dating the \u2018you\u2019 from 10 years ago. She\u2019s dating the \u2018you\u2019 now. She wants to perve at you, the grey fox. She wants to fall in love with that man. Or not, as the case may be.<\/p>\n

\"Practical
GREY FOX: She wants to fall in love with the you now, not the past you.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

3. Don\u2019t get your hopes up at all.<\/strong> Don\u2019t get excited and tell her before meeting her that she\u2019s the woman of your dreams. She\u2019s the one who has to put up with the look of disappointment on your face when you meet in real life and discover you don\u2019t click at all. Play it cool. Hope for the best, but expect the worst.<\/p>\n

4. If there\u2019s something unusual about you, tell her before you meet.<\/strong> She\u2019s not going to judge you before meeting you and, if she is the judgy type, she\u2019s not going to magically fall for you after you’ve carefully manoeuvred\u00a0her into meeting you. It\u2019s just \u2013 if you have a stutter \u2013 she\u2019d like to be prepared so she can move beyond that as quickly as possible rather than spending the whole date wrangling it alone in her head and pretending it\u2019s something she\u2019s not allowed to talk about.<\/p>\n

5. Don\u2019t put a heartfelt online profile up presenting yourself as available and then break it to her later, after a few dates, that you\u2019re not \u2018emotionally available\u2019.<\/strong> Once seeing the clear disappointment on her face along with her words \u2018That\u2019s really disappointing\u2019, don\u2019t then proceed to suggest you both go back to your place for some \u2018fun times\u2019.<\/p>\n

6. Speaking of \u2018fun times\u2019<\/strong>, don\u2019t assume \u2013 just because she has a profile picture that shows some cleavage \u2013 that she wants to immediately start talking to you online about sex.<\/p>\n

\"Practical
SEXY SELFIE: Just because she’s showing some cleavage, doesn’t mean she wants to immediately start talking about sex.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

7. If you\u2019re 20 and she\u2019s 40, don\u2019t try to convince her that\u2019s you\u2019re the best lover she\u2019ll ever encounter. <\/strong>You\u2019re not that good in bed. You\u2019re only 20. On the issue of age differences, if you\u2019re 45 and she\u2019s 25, when she says she loves Nicki Minaj, don\u2019t say \u2018Oh, my daughter loves her too\u2019.<\/p>\n

\"Practical
HOT STUFF: Just because you’re 20 doesn’t mean you’re the be all and end all in bed.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

8. Don\u2019t go out with someone six times in 2 weeks and not attempt to hug or kiss them.<\/strong> You\u2019re clearly not attracted to them. You\u2019re using them for their brains, their sense of fun or their mutual love of [insert your favourite thing here]. Stop it.<\/p>\n

9. Don\u2019t be self deprecating.<\/strong> We all have insecurities, but she doesn’t really need to know online or even on the first date how much you hate the size of your girth, the lack of hair on your chest or the length of your penis. Let her be the judge of that. Until then, own it.<\/p>\n

\"Practical10. Avoid grand gestures on the first date. <\/strong>If you know she\u2019s interested in theatre, don\u2019t turn up to the first date with surprise tickets to Wicked<\/em> for that night. This is a get to know you session. Both of you deserve the luxury of a free \u2018way out\u2019 with no strings attached.<\/p>\n

11. There\u2019s a limit to how many times you can arrange a date and cancel. <\/strong>After cancelling the 5th<\/sup> time and then begging for another chance, do not expect another chance. You can cancel once, but no more than that. Similarly, there\u2019s no point continuing to chat with someone online if they\u2019re clearly not interested in meeting in real life. Delete.<\/p>\n

Today, despite meeting my one true love in real life, I still believe online dating is the best way to meet new people. I have many friends who met online and ended up finding a partner in crime. And some of the blokes I met I still count as friends.<\/p>\n

Do you have any tips you’d like to share? Please comment below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After my first long-term relationship broke up, I was single for 10 years. Given how beautiful, intelligent and witty I am \u2013 not to mention modest \u2013 my friends and family were often perplexed by my inability to find someone special. What made me perplexed was the complete lack of intervention, not to mention zero … Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1245,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1239","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-photos"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1239","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1239"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1239\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6289,"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1239\/revisions\/6289"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1245"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thecanvasfactory.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}